Mental Hospital

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

Hello and thank you for calling National Center for Mental Health.

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won’t be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don’t press any buttons, you’ll just mess it up.

BLONDE. :))! and paranoids. :))!

Source: sommersalt

56 Notes/ Hide

  1. daretothink reblogged this from coolsizzles and added:
    sunshinedaisies:ericqespiritu:uhhhmanda:chocolatekisses:irishayne:markpradorn07: MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU Hello and...
  2. coolsizzles reblogged this from snatchbox
  3. readingnatalie reblogged this from snatchbox and added:
    BLONDE. :))! and paranoids. :))!
  4. snatchbox reblogged this from ericqespiritu
  5. blog-all-you-can reblogged this from cookiemonstereatscookies
  6. complexmediocrity reblogged this from cookiemonstereatscookies and added:
    MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU Hello and thank you for calling...Health. Please select from...
  7. cookiemonstereatscookies reblogged this from ericqespiritu
  8. ericqespiritu reblogged this from wordhadit
  9. monochromecyclone reblogged this from orientalkat
  10. itsmycah reblogged this from irishayne
  11. orientalkat reblogged this from wilabgnehs and added:
    The last line is for Russ! lol
  12. wilabgnehs reblogged this from fontofmercy
  13. talesofromeo reblogged this from candistaaa
  14. candistaaa reblogged this from sunsetandstars and added:
    haahahha!!!! tama! tama!
  15. fontofmercy reblogged this from irishayne and added:
    mean but lol =))
  16. thesoloobligato reblogged this from sommersalt
  17. memorykill reblogged this from irishayne
  18. sunsetandstars reblogged this from irishayne and added:
    HAHAHAHA! Winner! Miss ko na mag-duty sa National Center for Mental Health Pavillion 1!!!
  19. holytittyfcuk reblogged this from irishayne
  20. blubrain reblogged this from irishayne
  21. irishayne reblogged this from sommersalt
  22. thekinghatesuperman reblogged this from sommersalt and added:
    (Funny. Duty ko pa man din dun bukas. :)) ha!)
  23. smileaboutsomething reblogged this from sommersalt
  24. youraveragefreak reblogged this from sommersalt and added:
    HAHAHAHHAHHAAHHA
  25. unitedstatesoffrancis reblogged this from sommersalt